Monday, March 25, 2019

Review - Scarlet Fry's Junkfood Horrorfest (2007)

Scarlet Fry's Junkfood Horrorfest
Review By Dave Sloane

Junkfood Horrorfest is a horror anthology directed and hosted by the ghoulish zombie Scarlet Fry. The movie starts off with a Junkie (played by Alice Cooper's daughter) trying to score some junk from a local drug dealer. Instead of drugs he gives her a VHS tape which contains 6 fright tales hosted by the re-animated horror host Scarlet Fry.

The first tale Blood Thirsty Butcher is about a guy who's hungry, I mean really hungry. When he notices a new neighbor doing laundry alone he decides it's time for a little snack.

In the next tale The Solution a nurse is pushing a wheelchair bound invalid around in a park while a sniper takes aim from the bushes.

Griptape Spank focuses on a some skate punks who need some cash to score some weed. So they hook up with a gay guy who offers them some money if they spank his bare ass with their skateboards, as he really likes the coarse feeling of the griptape on his rump. After our lead punk is called gay by his friends (who also participated?) for the butt bashing he snaps and goes on a rampage.

In Wasted Life we get a guy in a bathtub (played by Fry) slitting his wrists.

In The Devil Made Me Do It a girl is trying to get out of a relationship with her violent satanic boyfriend. She shoots him, and you guessed it he comes back from the dead to exact his bloody revenge.

In the final story Love Is Blind a girl tells her boyfriend that she is pregnant and he doesn't react very kindly to the news. So what's a disgruntled pregnant girl to do? Well tie him up for some sick sadistic bondage.

The main issue with Junkfood Horrorfest as you may be able to tell from my brief synopsis above is the tales do not come off as complete well rounded stories. Instead they play like a series of short vignettes were something gruesome happens and then it's over and on to the next tale. There is no real story arch to most of the tales and no fun twist endings as seen in most horror anthologies.

I usually don't like to give spoilers in my reviews but to illustrate my point let's take a closer look at one of the weakest entries in the movie and break down it's plot.

In The Solution a nurse is pushing an invalid around in a park in his wheelchair. They stop and she feeds him some yogurt that he spits up and then a sniper shoots him. The nurse then meets the sniper in his car and the two drive off. That's it, no story, no real characters or character development, just a moment of something happening and then the tale stalls to a close. This is pretty much how most of the stories play which is rather unfortunate.

A couple of tales (Griptake Spank and Love Is Blind) try to have a little more substance and plot but overall are kind of letdowns.

Griptake Spank in particular comes off very mean spirited with it's farcical depiction of homosexuals and anti-gay sentiment of it's characters. It does manage to have a beginning, middle and end though unlike the other tales so it does gets some points for that.

Love Is Blind was probably the best of the stories but the main character is so unlikable you don't get why any girl would be pining for his affection, even if she was pregnant with his baby. The "twist" at the end comes off as just an excuse for a violent set piece that makes little sense in the context of the story and just seems out of place.

As for the horror host aspect of the movie it really doesn't add much to the proceedings other than to pad out the runtime. Scarlet Fry isn't horrible as a host but isn't great either, he's just kinda there.

Overall watching Junkfood Horrorfest is like going out to a four course meal and the waiter only brings you the appetizer. It has a few tasty moments but keeps you waiting for that main course that never arrives.